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The European
Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of
the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as
"Euro-English".
In the first
year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be
dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion,
and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be
growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make
words like fotograf 20% shorter .
In the 3rd
year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where! more komplikated changes are
possible.
Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil
agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th
yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze
fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a ril
sensibl riten styl.
Zer vil be
no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum
tru.
Und efter ze
fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze
forst plas.
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