|
At JFK Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a
public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a
flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a
set-square, a slide rule and a calculator.
Attorney general John Ashcroft believes the man is a member
of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He is being charged with
carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-Gebra is a very fearsome cult, indeed", Ashcroft said.
"They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and
sometimes go off on a tangent in a search of absolute value.
They consist of quite shadowy figures, with names like "x"
and "y", and, although they are frequently referred to as
"unknowns", we know they really belong to a common
denominator and are part of the axis of medieval
with coordinates in every country. "As the great Greek
philanderer Isosceles used to say, there are 3 sides to
every triangle."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said,
"If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math
instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."
|